Epiphany moments

I don’t want to undermine the use of the word epiphany. It feels as though it holds a special weight to it. It has been applied to some of humanities greatest discovers and societal shifts. However I think I can reflect on small personal epiphany moments that have punctuated my year through my daily practice. Moments of true clarity and realisation.
The power of awareness
The feeling of being carried somewhere different because of someone else’s decision
The transformative power of change even when it is painful
It isn’t always bad to focus on yourself
The complexities and varieties of love, intimacy and friendship
That sometimes it doesn’t always fit
Shades of light and dark are needed
that sometimes it just is what it is
that words don’t always work (for me)
To stop and really take the time to look listen and be
That the connections will stay if they are meant to stay no matter what distance you put between them.

Day 214

From the beginning I have known that my birthday would consist of me holding hands with my mum, which I did, oddly it has left me with a consistent small voice in the back of my head pondering how and where I might hold hands with my dad.
Oh and my birthday present to myself was to choose not to hold hands with anyone the day after my birthday the one and only time when I have purposefully taken a day off. It gave me space to consider that we can only change our own behaviour and hopefully in doing so we will generate resonance with those around us that might once in a while allow us to move together.
This small consciously made gap punctuated another change for me this year as I started a residency on the 6th and so it felt like I had created space around this new starting point.

The End of July

Day 208

There was something about the end of July that felt quite powerful. I think perhaps it was the approach of my Birthday at the beginning of August that made it feel that getting to the end of July was a significant marker. Originally I had only intended to have my daily practice last until my birthday. It was a later decision in which to embrace the full year.

The intensity of time and what it means to give concentrated time was highlighted in my mind as my friends organised a birthday celebration consisting of a day of 30 minutes slots with all of my favourite people.THe emotion that fills up as you layer each moment on top of each other creates a very full sensation. In lots of ways it was a microcosm moment of all the transitions I have had this year and the feelings that ahve ebbed abd flowed through them.

Day 205

Day 206

Day 207

Day 209

Day 211

Day 212

Day 213